How to Get a Massage: Working with Our Own Edges

Okay, that's a cheeky title for my ongoing series of tips to optimize your time on the table. Just as my skill and expertise grow with each session I give, so too does the skill of receiving bodywork grow with experience. Massage and bodywork are intended to be both pleasurable and productive, so we may be balancing a mix of sensations while receiving the work. Some soothing, some intense, depending on the intent of your session. So here are a few tips to get your receiving skills up and enhance your massage experience.

Pay Attention to the "Edges"

The edges are informative sensations that allow us to know when we're about to move out of a state of ease. I like to differentiate this from a pain threshold as pain is both relative and, therefore, hard to communicate about and can be tolerated by many past their edges of ease. For example, someone may have a high pain threshold, and while working in a tender area, they may be able to tolerate the pain sensation and tell the therapist that it's okay to continue the pressure because it's not more than they can tolerate. All the while, they've started holding their breath to wait out the intense sensation, or their muscles are involuntarily constricting against the pressure the therapist is applying. But the client hasn't reached their pain threshold yet; they feel they could take more intensity before needing to stop. However, they have moved past a state of ease because they are no longer breathing naturally nor completely relaxed in their body. Holding breath and involuntary muscle constrictions are natural responses to pressure intensity or discomfort but can potentially deter the effectiveness of the work. So, even if you haven't gotten to a point you can't tolerate, check in with yourself to be sure you are maintaining that state of ease. Ask yourself: am I breathing naturally? Am I tensing up against the pressure?

Breathe into Your Edges

If you find that you're reaching an edge with intensity during a session, first tune into that sensation. What if you breathe into it? Does the renewed breath diffuse the intensity? If you're not beyond the edge of ease, keep breathing into it, consciously take note of what the sensation feels like in your body. Expand your ribcage with such deep breaths it leans into the pressure the practitioner is applying. This will both anchor you into the sensation with more ease and aid in the effectiveness of the work by properly oxygenating your body and activating those breathing muscles. Many times while receiving bodywork I find I'm approaching an edge of intensity but if I can consciously breathe through it, the intensity quickly diffuses.

Communicate the Edges

While the practitioner may be able to recognize a client's uneasy response, it may also be so minute that it goes unnoticed. And that's where communication comes in clutch. Letting your therapist know that you've reached an edge is key to making your session better. Although we are highly skilled in reading the body, we still cannot feel what you are feeling and letting us know when the pressure is a bit too much, or a bit too little, can help us optimize your sessions collaboratively. This can sound like "I think we're right at the edge," meaning this is good, more would be too much. Or, "a little less pressure here, please," backing off with pressure is not necessarily going to inhibit the effectiveness of the technique. Some of my most successful sessions have come out of great client communication and seamless collaboration.

Please never feel shy to communicate when something needs to change! If you are receiving work from a therapist who makes you feel bad for communicating your needs, consider seeing another therapist. 

Pain is relative; sometimes, I feel a sensation of pain that kind of "hurts so good," and I know that pain is still within my boundaries and not pushing past my edges and natural body responses.

It may take time to get to know your edges and differentiate them from pain thresholds, but as with all things, practice is key, and this takes us further into building a strong mind-body connection when we tune into these experiences.